I Got A Spatula For Valentine's Day

Yes, I said spatula.

We’ve been trying to eat healthier around here…lean meat, whole grains, no sugar, and lots of fish. And every time I put that tilapia, salmon, or grouper (if it’s on sale) in the pan to sear, I wish I had a fish spatula. Fish is so delicate and falls apart so easily. I usually end up with pieces rather than that perfect beautiful fillet. The kitchen gadget “powers that be” figured out that a long, slender, flexible spatula would do the trick. Now, a fish spatula is something you only ever think about when you’re cooking fish and it’s falling apart. What other occasion would you ever have to think of a fish spatula? So a couple of months ago, I got a "post it" note and wrote simply “fish spatula” and put it on the fridge. I figured maybe that would help me remember the next time I was headed to a mall or near a kitchen specialty store. But so far, no fish spatula. Just a frustrated glance at that "post it" note each time I make fish. Most of the time I kinda forget I put it up there.

So this morning while I was getting ready for work, I was summoned by my family to come out for a surprise. My husband and girls had packages and cards and yelled, “Happy Valentine’s Day!” First, I opened a new bead to add to my Pandora bracelet. Always a good easy choice for any gift giving occasion. (See, I actually got a Pandora catalog and circled all the beads I like so there was no guessing for the next several birthdays, Christmases, and such) But surprise, surprise, my next gift was this beautiful FISH SPATULA from Williams Sonoma! My husband had seen the note on the fridge, and after 13 years of marriage, quickly surmised that I was wishing for one. He tucked away the information for just the right occasion and WALLAH! The fact that he put some thought into it was what meant so much.

By the way ladies, once again, I beg you, tell your husband what you want for Valentine’s, Christmas, Birthday, Mother’s Day. It takes nothing away from the gift. It is a LIE to think that if you have to tell him what to get you, it’s not as good! Your husband will be happy because he knows you will be happy and hey…he still has to follow through and do it. Put it to the test. If you want pink tulips to arrive at the office for your birthday, be THAT specific. No "post it" on the fridge...come right out and tell him. That’s what I’ve done for years and guess what? I’m the happy camper who’s admiring her tulips when others wished their husbands were so thoughtful. Mine wasn’t… I TOLD HIM… and he gladly followed through! And the best part of all? After a while, he’ll get better at figuring out what you want and you won’t have to tell him all the time. And if you’re lucky, you may just find yourself next Valentine’s Day…holding a very special fish spatula.

Hmmm...maybe it's time to try a "post it" that says...diamond earrings? ;)

My 100th Post...Looking Back

I was going to post the next in a series on Adam and Eve I've been working on. But then I realized...it's my 100th post. I don't know why but I just feel like I want to do something fun for this one. It's taken me forever to get here and writing this blog has meant so many things for me. This is where I really discovered how much I love to write. This blog helped me get my job as a writer for Mercy Ministries. It has been an outlet for expressing myself and what I've learned in life. I just turned 40, another milestone I'll write about soon, but as I look back, I thought it might be fun to share some of my favorite of the last 99 posts. Mostly they are the ones that made me laugh at myself and the ones you responded to the most. So here they are if you have the time and need a good chuckle:

My Very First Post

How to Extract Top Secret Info from Spies

and the follow up to that fun night The Secret Life of a Toddler

We're Breaking Up

The First Day of School...Again

Little Sister has been the star of many a funny blog post and at times has provided some hilarious video. Here they are:

Knock Knock

Long Day

Jingle Bells

And then there are the lessons learned

Rubies

Sanctuary

Lost and Found

If you made it to the end of this post, you're awesome. Thanks and I look forward to the next time. Tune in for more soon!

Lessons on Marriage...Sort of

Little Sister: Mama, after you are dead, I going to marry Daddy!

Me: Really.

Little Sister: Yeah...after you are dead.

Me: Well, I'm not planning to die anytime soon. And besides, you can't marry someone in your family.

Little Sister: Right. So I can't marry you or Annie or Daddy.

Me: (Not wanting to address the gender issues) Right.

Big Sister: (finally weighing in) You can only marry someone who is in someone else's family. And besides, Daddy is already married to Mama. You can't marry someone who is already married. Right mom?

Me: Right. You can only marry someone who is single. Someone who is not married is called "single".


Pause for about one minute.



Little Sister: I think Santa Claus is single.

Catching Up

Well, if you used to read my blog (like a million years ago) I know you're shocked that I've finally decided to start posting again. And if you've been here before you might notice that I've also got a new look. It was time. The other blog picture is two years old and about 15 lbs. lighter (hence the rest of my face being cut out) :) This picture is from this past spring at the Preakness which I'm going to do a post about next time. It was definitely a blog worthy experience so I'll have to go back and catch you up. But first a summary of the past few months. Easter was my last post so I'll take it from there. In May, my husband and I flew to Baltimore for the second year in a row to visit our friend Billy and attend the Preakness. And once again, we had a fabulous time!

When we returned, there were only a couple of weeks of school left. Big Sister played a beautiful flower in the end of the year program and even had a line.

The year ended with a semi-field day (because rain cancelled the actual field day) and the always exciting kindergarten tug-of-war.

Most of the summer was spent hanging out at our local pool for hours on end and having fun with friends. We spent several nights in the back yard around our fire pit making s'mores with our neighbors. Super fun!

Thanks to some friends who have box seats and no small children, we got to go see Thomas the Train. The girls LOVED it! Mom and Dad? Let's just say I'm glad we had box seats with food and drinks.

We had a great time vacationing with my sister, her husband, her daughter and the Russian boy they hosted for six weeks this summer, Vinya. He had a much longer name and some of the kids choose American names like "Scott" or "Mike" but he settled on a shortened version of his actual name. He was hilarious and sweet, poor thing, surrounded by all those girls. He is nine now and my sister can have him back every summer until he's seventeen which I think is SO cool.

I went on my annual girls' trip in July...

I know, the green dress was popular this summer but I love that dress!

Big Sister had a birthday at the end of the month. She wanted to have a pretend slumber party and she wanted it to be a surprise. This was not an easy thing to pull off let me tell you. She wanted to plan everything, she just didn't want us to tell her when it was. We invited a few of the neighborhood girls over (to keep it simple) and asked them to wear pajamas and bring their sleeping bags. We did manage to surprise her and she absolutely loved it. We played musical sleeping bags, hot potato with everyone's stuffed animals, and had sleeping bag relay races. They made jewelry, painted nails, and ate pizza. At 8:30pm, everyone went home (hence the "pretend" part). They had a great time and it was the best budgeted birthday party we've ever had. I highly recommend this idea.

Our system changed to a modified year-round schedule so it wasn't long before it was time for the first day of school. I can't believe Big Sister is a First Grader this year! She seems so big. You may also notice that she got a "big girl" haircut. This is code for Mama could no longer endure the crying while trying to comb out the knots. Little Sister is staying home with me this year. No Mother's Day Out for her this time around as we are trying to get serious about our budget and finances...but more about that later. Little Sister is still a nut as you can tell from all the pictures of her so far.

Big Sister has a wonderful and creative teacher who just so happens to be an old neighbor of ours. The first two weeks of school they act like they are at camp. They brought their sleeping bags, there was a tent set up in the room, they wrote and received letters from home, and learned about all kinds of bugs. This is Big Sister wearing her camp hat on the first day.

And of course school starting means...yep, you guessed it...a new football season for Daddy.

Did I mention Taylor Swift filmed her video "You Belong To Me" at Daddy's school? He got to coach Lucas Till and after about 40 passes, he finally caught one. Our team was playing both sides and when he caught the ball, everyone got so excited that both teams rushed to congratulate him. Needless to say, not a very realistic scenario so they had to shoot again. All the players, fans, and people attending prom are our students. They had such a blast.

We've had two games so far. We won the first one in a nail biter and lost big in the second one. I pray it gets better from here. At the first game, Little Sister did this...

And Big Sister did this...

Although I can't say for sure that either was aware that there was actually a football game going on.

So that's where we are. Fall is in full swing and today is a beautiful cool fall day. I've missed writing for the blog though I have been writing. My writing these past few months has taken the form of a Bible study. I don't know if anything will ever come of it but I have definitely found a passion I never knew I had. Now that I am officially a football widow, you can expect to be updated here much more often now. Maybe I'll have something funny or interesting to say, I don't know. Chances are with Little Sister at home this year I'll have something funny to say now and then. I love hearing your comments if you feel so inclined and I look forward to sharing more with you about all that God has been doing. For now I will leave you with a great photo of Little Sister at the end of a long day.

Sanctuary

This week I was able to really put into practice a lesson I learned early in our marriage. I learned to make my home a sanctuary.

Early in our marriage I had lots of ideas and expectations. Unfortunately, my husband is not a mind reader so any time he fell short of those expectations I made him miserable. When he had a stressful day at work and the boss kept him late was often the same night I prepared an elaborate meal and made plans for us to go out and do something fun. (That was when we had no kids, two jobs, time, and money) Anyway, the dinner would go cold, we'd have missed the movie, and the more minutes that ticked by, the worse it would get. Concern would turn to irritation, irritation to frustration, frustration to anger, and anger to bitterness. By the time he walked in the door, he didn't stand a chance. As you can imagine, after a couple of years, home wasn't a place he looked forward to at the end of the day. If his day at work was difficult, he knew that often his home would be worse. He would often stay later to avoid it which made me madder. When given the silent treatment, he often gave the silent treatment...probably just grateful that he wasn't being nagged to death. Irritation turned to frustration, frustration to anger, and...you get the picture.

Thankfully, through a series of events, and often painful pruning, the Lord spoke to my heart. I learned that if I wanted things to change, I had to change. If I wanted my husband to look forward to coming home then home needed to offer something to look forward to. Our home needed to become a sanctuary. Look at the definition of sanctuary.

sanc·tu·ar·y /ˈsæŋktʃuˌɛri/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[sangk-choo-er-ee] –noun, plural -ar·ies.

1.	a sacred or holy place.

2.	Judaism. a. the Biblical tabernacle or the Temple in Jerusalem. b. the holy of holies of these places of worship.

3.	an especially holy place in a temple or church.

4.	the part of a church around the altar; the chancel.

5.	a church or other sacred place where fugitives were formerly entitled to immunity from arrest.

6.	immunity afforded by refuge in such a place.

7.	any place of refuge; asylum.

He needed a place of refuge, he needed immunity, he needed a place where he felt safe and loved and accepted. Those words did not describe our home back then. Now I'll just tell you, it didn't change overnight. After a week of holding my tongue, putting him first, letting the little stuff go...I wanted to give up. It didn't seem to be working. He was still coming home late. He was still withdrawn. Basically, he wasn't buying it. But the Lord reminded me I didn't need to change what I was doing in order to get my husband to change. I had to be who God called me to be as a wife regardless of how my husband responded. Besides, it had taken almost two years for me to teach him that home was not a refuge. It was not a place where he could feel safe and loved and accepted. He was definitely not getting immunity. It probably took another year for me to prove to him that things were going to be different. I would fail miserably some days...I still do. But as I take refuge in the Lord, our home is becoming a place of refuge for my husband.

These past couple of weeks have been rough. Work has been especially draining and challenging for him. But in those difficult moments in his day he called us for comfort. He looked to me for encouraging words and a listening ear. He couldn't wait to get home at night. Because this week when his nights were especially long, when his job was particularly frustrating, when it seemed he was being attacked on every front, he had a sanctuary.

Rubies

As Mother's Day approaches, I am reminded of the day I became a mother and a lesson I didn't learn until two and a half years later when I became a mother for the second time.

The push present. Know what I'm talking about? I didn’t know anything about them until my friend Lisa had her first baby. We went to visit her in the hospital and along with her beautiful baby boy, she showed us the gorgeous necklace and giant box of Godiva truffles her husband bought for her. When I got pregnant with our first child, I frequently reminded my husband how special and wonderful I thought this idea of a push present was. After all, I was the one who was going to have to do the really hard stuff.

I remember standing in Cracker Barrel one day waiting for our table and we were standing near some birthstone jewelry. (Cracker Barrel just has everything don't they?) My husband mentioned that our daughter’s birthstone was going to be ruby. I was surprised that he’d sought out this information and got the idea that he might be thinking about the push present. I went on and on about how much I just LOVED rubies.

I went into labor on my due date. Okay how often does that actually happen? But I did and off to the hospital we went. I had gotten Jeff a present for our special day. After all, I was convinced I was getting RUBIES. I got him a special journal and a book about writing you life story for your children. It came from red envelope and was in this beautiful red box with a cream bow neatly packed for weeks in my hospital suitcase.

I thought this was pretty special as I was the one doing the pushing. After our daughter was born, I waited until we were alone that night and gave him his gift. I was disappointed to find out that he didn’t have my gift. “ I don’t have yours,” was what he said. “I haven’t even bought anything yet,” was what he meant. I was sad, I mean, it’s not like he didn’t have nine months to prepare but I figured it could be just as special after we got home. Well, two hormone filled weeks went by and no present. Then one day as we were getting ready to leave for church, there was a ring box waiting in the carseat. Oh, this is it. Finally I get my push present. I admit, my attitude was bad but I was glad he hadn't completely forgotten. Well, without going into all the details, my husband went to Kohls (hello, don't buy jewelry at Kohls), and bought a cheap little band with microscopic ruby and diamond chips. It didn't even come in a box, he brought it home in a bag and then put it in one of his state championship ring boxes from high school, which he promptly asked to have back. Can you tell I was a little disappointed?

*I feel it's important here to speak to any man who might be reading this. If you're buying jewelry that has precious stones in it...you must spend more than $100. If you are unsure, PLEASE ask one of her friends for their opinion. May I recommend Berry's Pawn in Madison? It's highly reputable, recommended by Dave Ramsey, and owned by Herb Berry, a wonderful Christian man.

Anyway, I dutifully wore the ring for the next two and a half years. Then our second child was born. I begged him not to buy jewelry. I asked him to just write me a love letter and for his gift, I decided to write him one too. As I began to think about what to write, I thought about the last time we'd been in that place and the little ruby ring. And then it hit me. Conviction. Brokenness. Tears. The Lord brought to mind the one piece of jewelry my husband gave me that I love the most and wear every single day. It is a Hebrew scripture necklace created by a Messianic Jew named Leehee.
My husband picked it out and gave it to me for Christmas about a year and a half after our first was born. It's the only time a gift from him has made me cry. When I read what the Hebrew verse was on the necklace, I lost it. It is

Proverbs 31:10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is more precious than rubies.

Now, I'd worn the necklace for over a year at this point and finally the irony was not lost on me. More precious than rubies. I had been anything but. I wrote the love letter of my life. I was so humbled by all this man had given me. I now wear that little ring with honor. It reminds me of the kind of wife I desire to be. The crazy part is that he already thinks that of me. I know better of course. He even quotes the next two verses whenever he tells someone about the necklace.

Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.

Wow. And as I think of this Mother's Day, I think of the man who made me a mother. If I could be a Proverbs 31:10-12 wife, I know I could be a good mother. So I come into this day with no expectations, just a desire to serve the ones I love. To bring them good, and not harm. To give them full confidence in me. To make sure they lack nothing of value. To be more precious than rubies.

Birthday Boy

*WARNING - The following post may cause vomiting. If mushy talk and lovey-dovey stuff makes you nauseous, you may want to look away.

In honor of my husband's 37th birthday today, I thought I'd write 37 things I love about him.

1. He makes the best grilled cheese sandwich anywhere. (okay, so I didn't want to start with the most obvious stuff)

2. He can build a great fire.

3. He loves to play board games. (especially the ones he can always win)

4. He's one of the smartest people I know.

5. He is a great dad. (of course)

6. He is always diplomatic when dealing with angry people.

7. He is an incredible motivator.

8. He is a vault. (if you have a secret you just have to tell but can't let it get out, call Jeff)

9. When he laughs really hard, it sounds like he's crying.

10. He can talk his way into places normally reserved for VIP's. (this comes in really handy when you arrive at Islands of Adventure with 50 seniors the day before the park opens.)

11. He's loyal.

12. He writes the best love letters to me in our journal.

13. He's hot.

14. He's sweet to his mother.

15. He lets me sleep in on Saturday mornings.

16. He loves learning new things and is a gifted teacher.

17. He's a talented athlete and is highly competitive.

18. What you see is what you get.

19. When you need firewood in Gatlinburg, he'll go out and come back with armfuls leaving you thinking he must have ripped down trees with his bare hands.

20. He tells me all the time that I'm not staying home to make sure our house is spotless or our laundry is always folded and put away, but that I'm here to be with our daughters.

21. He likes doing lawn work.

22. Everyone in my family LOVES him. (sometimes more than me I think)

23. He has a gift for making students who normally feel left out and uncool seem cool and fun to the other kids.

24. He likes my hair no matter how I change it.

25. He likes road trips.

26. He is a leader.

27. He is the best role model for young men that I know.

28. He is strong but he knows the exact moments to be tender.

29. He is a renaissance man.

30. He always compliments my cooking even if I'm disappointed in what I've prepared.

31. He is forgiving.

32. He makes me laugh.

33. He laughs when I'm trying to be funny.

34. He laughs when our daughters are trying to be funny.

35. He'll go to the store at 10:30pm if I really want something.

36. He's not too proud to let our girls put bows in his hair, to watch Dora the Explorer, or to paint a little girls toenails.

37. He loves God and God's Word, and desires to do His will in all things.

I am so blessed to be married to this amazing man. If you know him well enough, feel free to add something you love about him in the comments. Happy Birthday Babe!

How To Extract Top Secret Info from Spies

How to Extract Top Secret Information From Spies

I can tell you in one step. Put a 2 year old hopped up on cough medicine in the bed with them.

Let me explain how I acquired this information. This past weekend was LONG. It was mostly super fun stuff but there was no time to stop and by the time Sunday night rolled around we couldn't wait to get into bed. Immediately after putting the girls to bed we got in our bed, turned on the TV and began to zone out. My husband was asleep by 9:30 and I was asleep by about 10:00. About an hour later we woke up to our 2 year old coughing incessantly and decided to give her some cough medicine. Wait...let me back up a minute.

On Saturday morning at around 8:00am, Little Sister was really hacking and had a pretty stuffy nose so my husband went to the kid's medicine cabinet. He found these neat little cough & cold strips that you just stick on their tongues and the strips just melt away. Sounds brilliant, right? If you've ever tried to give an irritated toddler cough medicine you know why this sounded like a Pulitzer prize winner. We have a nighttime version and a daytime version so he wisely gave her the daytime version. When I came into the kitchen he proudly told me how Little Sister was coughing but he'd taken care of it and given her one of the strips. This is how the conversation went from there:

Me: A WHOLE strip?
Him: (Eyes wide now) Yeah...why?
Me: (Eyes also wide) They're for ages 6 and up.
Him: Why are they in with the other kid medicine?
Me: I don't know, I bought the wrong thing and I didn't want to throw them away. They were expensive. Why didn't you read the label? (I know...this was a stupid question)
Him: Why would I read the label? You take out a strip, you put it on the kid's tongue, what else is there? Is she going to be okay?
Me: I guess. I don't know. We probably just need to watch her.

So that's what we did all day. We watched her. We watched her stumble around. We watched her stare into space. We watched as she asked, "Can.......I.......have.....anana?" And then we watched as she stared with intensity at that banana. Basically, the girl was hammered. For about 5 hours. It looked very similar to this experience. She went down for a nap (easily of course) and woke up fine and dandy but still with a cough and yucky nose. We threw away the other medicine and got some age appropriate medicine. The non-drowsy kind. Which brings me back to the perfect means of torturing spies for information.

So Sunday night we give her the "new" cough medicine at 11:00pm. Little did we know that "non-drowsy" really meant "get ready 'cause this kid is about to kick your $@#!!". Never mind that we actually woke up this ticked off toddler to force the medicine into her body...so we could sleep. Oh the irony. About an hour later I woke up to little sister staring me in the face. I picked her up, carried her upstairs, put her in her bed, told her to stay there, and went back to bed. About ten minutes after that she was back. I repeated the above steps two more times and then she started going to Daddy's side of the bed. Daddy was asleep. No comment. The next time I caught her on the stairs and gave her some discipline before leaving her in her bed. Less than ten minutes later I heard movement again. I went upstairs to find her completely naked and headed out to do heaven knows what. That's when I gave up. I figured better to have her in my bed and know that she was diapered, clothed, and safe. That's when the REAL torture began.

For the next several hours she waited until I began to drift and would then proceed to poke me in the eye and say with all cheeriness, "EYES!" Sometimes she would stand up and start jumping on the bed, sometimes she would kick me in the kidney, sometimes she would try to sit on my head, sometimes she would say over and over, "Whas sat?" (What's that?) At about 1:30am Daddy left to sleep on the couch. I am telling you, in all seriousness, that by 3:00am I would have told the enemy anything they wanted to know if they would just GET THIS KID OUT OF MY BED AND LET ME SLEEP! I actually thought about digging that other cough medicine out of the trash at one point. I thought to myself, "I'll just let her kick me and poke me because I'm so tired I think I can maybe sleep through it." No such luck. The child finally collapsed into a deep snoring slumber at exactly 4:33am. Exactly 4:33am. I know. I looked. I'm a stay-at-home mom and it would have been tolerable if I could have slept in the next morning. Unfortunately, Big Sister usually gets up shortly after 6:00am.

Well, I made it through that night and the next Monday without killing anyone, with cough medicine or otherwise. Needless to say, we let the child cough the next night. She was pretty much over it by then anyway. What's the moral of the story?

Read the label.
If you bought the wrong thing, get rid of it.
Read the label.
Understand what the label means.
Read the label again and then let them cough anyway, especially if they are asleep.


I'd love to hear your one-liners.

Building a Marriage

My husband is home after his mission trip in Brazil and boy does he have stories to tell. The girls and I missed him so much. This is the longest we’ve been apart, EVER. Of course it got me thinking about how much I love him. They were in Brazil building a church brick by brick and it reminded me of one of the turning points in our relationship. The year I learned how to build a marriage.

Our second and third years were definitely the hardest. That first year we truly were just in that honeymoon period where you ignore the stuff that’s not working. The second year, the frustration set in. I didn’t realize it but going into marriage I had a lot of expectations. I wanted the perfect Christian marriage that I imagined so many others had. Most days we didn’t line up with those expectations and I didn’t like it one bit. My husband began to withdraw to a place where he was accepted just as he was and encouraged for doing things right, his work. The more he withdrew, the worse it got, and the vicious cycle continued. Thankfully, I would soon learn that the “perfect” marriage doesn’t exist. When things between us were at their worst, a good friend intervened and gave me a talking to that I’ll never forget.

Our friend used a great analogy. He said that it was as if I had these blueprints for the perfect marriage but the problem was my husband didn’t have access to them. Every time he put a brick in the wrong place so to speak, I was frustrated, disappointed, and just downright disrespectful. He said that building a marriage was like deciding together each day where we would lay a brick. That it was only at the end of our days that we would look back and see the beautiful one-of-a-kind marriage we had. Somehow that made sense to me.

I threw out the blueprints after that. I embraced the idea that our marriage wouldn’t look like anyone else’s as a good thing. We began to figure out what worked best for us. We started getting to know each other again. And most importantly, we put our trust in God to be the architect and builder. It took some time but we began to build something that by God’s grace would last. I think we’ve got some interesting and wonderful and unique design elements to our marriage.

Eight years later, I was delighted to see a similar analogy in the Beth Moore Bible study we just finished called Stepping Up. Remembering that Jesus was a carpenter by trade she says, “Keep in mind that Christ is a custom builder...Let Him tell you how He wants your house to look instead of the other way around. He alone has the blueprints.” Wow, I knew exactly what she was talking about.

The church they built in Brazil is a very basic, one room structure, but one day during a lunchtime devotion, they felt the Holy Spirit fall on that place. In that same way, I want the Holy Spirit to be our guide and work in us to build a marriage that honors and glorifies Him. That would be…well…perfect.