Friday, July 18, 2008

The Secret Life of a Toddler

It was 11:00p.m. when I finally got in the bed. I knew my alarm would go off at 4:00a.m. I was leaving town for 4 days to visit with my dad and sister in North Carolina and I had stayed up late making sure everything was in order and easy before I left. My plane was leaving at 6:20a.m. so I had to allow time to look decent, get to the airport, park in economy and check a bag. 4:00a.m. was the goal. I lay there thinking of how I needed to fall asleep in the next 30 seconds or I was going to be exhausted. I lay there thinking that I really should check the answering machine before I left. I lay there thinking there was one more book I left in the van that I wanted to be sure and grab to take with me. I lay there worrying about our babysitter taking the girls to the pool on Friday while my husband was at work. At 12:30a.m. I knew I was in trouble.

About the same time, little sister began to cough...and cough...and just when I'd begin to drift...she'd cough. At 1:38a.m. my husband got up and went upstairs. When he came back down about five minutes later I knew I had my next blog post.

Me: What did you DO up there?

Him: I gave her some cough medicine. (with a slight "duh" tone to his voice)

Me: WHAT cough medicine?

Him: There's a whole bottle of PediaCare cough medicine in their medicine box. It said for ages 2-6 give 1 tsp.

Me: The non-drowsy cough medicine?

Him: (Hesitating) I don't know, I didn't look.

Me: The last time we gave her that medicine, she was down here an hour later and tortured me for the next 5 hours.

Him: (Long pause for effect)...She'll be fine.

Great, I thought. She'll be fine. I have 2 1/2 hours left to sleep and he just gave Little Sister the kiddie cocaine. And I'm leaving town. So she'll torture me and then he has to deal with her in the morning. And then he's taking her to Danielle's while he has football practice so she can torture Danielle. Oy. I thought about this for the next 58 minutes...while he slept. That's when she arrived, almost on cue. I picked her up, took her upstairs and put her back in her bed ready to wait for the next time. By now I was down to 1 1/2 hours and so I just prayed, "Lord, let me fall asleep in 30 seconds and let that 1 hour and 29 minutes feel like 8." But alas, I lay there listening to Little Sister tossing and turning and doing who knows what, hoping for the best, expecting the worst, and not sleeping. At 3:30a.m. I didn't even want to fall asleep anymore for fear that I wouldn't wake up and would miss my plane completely. So I turned off the alarm and began to mentally write a list for my husband.

1. Don't forget to take a diaper bag to Danielle's.

2. Let Little Sister sleep until you're ready to take her.

3. Take her in her pajamas and have Danielle put her in a bed.

4. Don't forget the passie!

5. Don't let the babysitter take them to the pool.

6. If you do let the babysitter take them to the pool, don't tell me.


8. Be patient. This is our fault after all. (Notice the use of the word "our"?)

At 4:00a.m. I went up to check on Little Sister. As I climbed the stairs, I heard voices. It took me a minute to figure it out. I began to realize that despite the dark, I could see remarkably well. Then I noticed a soft glow coming from the bonus room. There sat Little Sister, watching TV, at 4:00a.m. Wow. She very matter-of-factly informed me that she had a "poo-poo diaper". I changed her and put her back to bed, explained that we don't watch TV in the middle of the night and it was time to sleep. I went downstairs to get ready. My husband woke up long enough to ask, "Is she asleep?" "Nope," I said, "she was watching TV in the bonus room. I put her back in her bed."

At 4:45a.m. I was ready to go. I put my things in the car and came back in to say goodbye. I checked her one last time and when I opened the door she sat up and looked me right in the eye. Poor Daddy. Poor Danielle. I'm outta here. I said goodbye and left it in Daddy's hands and prayed all the way to the airport.

Turns out the Lord came through. The kiddie cocaine actually sustained her throughout the day. She was still her perky little self when I called to check on them last night at 7:15p.m. (I might need to try some of this stuff) I think we all slept pretty good last night. And I'd bet the house Daddy went to Walgreen's at some point yesterday...just in case.


Anonymous said...

You are by far the most entertaining blogger I know...

I cannot BELIEVE he gave her that stuff AGAIN!!! Crazy! What a least maybe now you can rest for a few days. Enjoy!

Montee said...

I got tickled reading this and that it happened AGAIN! Vandy grad huh? Should I really let Brett go there?

Anonymous said...

Seriously? The cough medicine AGAIN?! As I started reading I thought: I already read this; why is it showing up as a new post? Too funny! At least she didn't terrorize you again (though you still didn't get any sleep...). I hope you're having a great trip!

Anonymous said...

I am laughing out loud again at your blogs. It's better than Last