Wednesday, April 16, 2008

We're Breaking Up

I was walking/running last night and I have to admit that it is getting a little better. A little. For the most part I still don’t enjoy it but I do have to admit that it burns more calories much faster. I loaded my iPod with what I thought would inspire me to keep going and it seems to help. Here’s my running playlist.

Queen – We Will Rock You

Survivor – Eye of the Tiger

Kelly Clarkson – Since You Been Gone

Destiny’s Child – Survivor

Christina Aguilera – Fighter

Britney Spears – Hit Me Baby One More Time

NSync – It’s Gonna Be Me

Backstreet Boys – Bye Bye Bye

Pat Benetar – Hit Me With Your Best Shot

Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive

Heart – Never

Indigo Girls – Midnight Train to Georgia

KC and the Sunshine Band – Boogie Shoes

Elton John – Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me

I know, it’s not very spiritual. Somehow praise music has the opposite effect on me. It makes me want to stop in my tracks. I’m one of those people who can barely sing in church because I just cry the whole time. But I realized while I was running last night that I have a lot of angry breakup music in the lineup. I’m not sure why this music pumps me up so much. I mean there’s a little bit of fun stuff but what’s the deal with the breakup songs? And then I realized.

It’s over. We’re done for good. I’m breaking up with my big butt. I have broken up with my big butt before only to reunite with it again a few months later. It always lured me back with sugary sweets and fatty fried foods and I just haven’t seemed to be able to get it out of my life for good. Well, it’s done me wrong long enough. I’m mad and I’m breaking things off for the last time. I even wrote it a Dear John letter.

Dear Big Butt,
I know we’ve been together a long time. We know each other so well but there’s never really been love between us. In fact, I've never loved you and I never will. You make me unhappy. You make me feel bad about myself. You’re weighing me down. And this time I’m serious. Don’t come around anymore because I’m not taking you back. You need to just go and take all your fat pants with you. No one likes you. Your dimples haven’t been cute since I was about 3 years old. There’s no room for you here anymore so please quit following me around. You’re not the butt God intends for me to spend my life with so I’m breaking up with you. Goodbye.

P.S. Leave my friends and family alone too because they don’t want anything to do with you either.

So, what’s in your iPod lineup?


Anonymous said...

You are so witty! I LOVE the dear John letter to your butt!!!!

Montee said...

Ha! This is great! I like to listen to Creed on my IPOD when working out. They are rockin' and it's spiritual music. I am like you. Sometimes in church whenever we sing, I feel like I am going to burst out in tears. I guess making that joyous noise gets to me.

Anonymous said...

You are hilarious sweet Tracy! :) I'm with you except to butt, thighs, and waist. Now, if I can just quit eating chocolate cake and exercise... HA!

my ipod list is very very long, but a few others I like are don't phunk with my heart by black eyed peas, extraordinary by liz phair, here it goes again by oh go, move along by all american rejects, pressing on by reliant k, beauty by ayiesha woods - not so spiritual either, but i don't do any explicit lyrics and don't really listen to the words anyway...

Jennifer said...

Gotta say... I'm so glad I found your blog from Carrie's and Ashley's. You are a RIOT! I had to read this one out loud to the hubby who agreed! Too funny... probably because I can relate OH SO Well! See you on the message board.

ChristinK said...

Hilarious!! I love it!!