My One Word...2011

Wow, has it really been a month since I blogged? We're not done with Adam and Eve just yet but I wanted blog about something I've been doing every New Year for the past few years. No, I don't believe in New Year's resolutions. But I do believe in changing and growing. So rather than make some resolutions that I will surely abandon before the month's end, I like to do something I learned from the pastor of Port City Community Church in Wilmington, NC, Mike Ashcraft. I like to put my focus on...just...one...word.

In 2008, my word was contentment. I feel I learned a lot that year about not comparing myself, my life, my marriage, my everything to others. And I began to understand the truth of Philipians 4:12-13 - I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Did you know that last verse had to do with being content? I didn't before 2007 and in no way have I arrived or anything, but I am more content than I was.

In 2009, my word was self-discipline. Do I even need to explain what a challenging year that was? I purposely put myself to the test several times in an attempt to develop self-discipline. I made some progress, I did. But the jury is still out on how much.

In 2010, my word was finish. I get great satisfaction from finishing things. The problem is, I am much better at starting than I am finishing. I did a lot better with my word once I started my new job. I get to start and finish lots of projects there but it isn't always easy. There were a lot of spiritual applications to finishing but if you want to read more, you can see what I wrote last year here.

So, what about 2011? I didn't know until a couple of nights ago what my word would be. I begged the Lord to give me something...something easy. I said, "What about rest or...fun." But I felt like the Lord wanted to teach me something more. I'm pretty good at resting and having fun. There wasn't as much work needed there. For some reason the word "fearless" kept coming to mind. I have been really challenged at my job to push beyond my comfort zone. I have a real fear of failure and I have experienced it quite a few times since starting back to work, a humbling thing to say the least. It hasn't been very "fun" to fail. But I do have a supervisor, Eve, who really inspires me by how fearless she is. "Oh, I've failed so many times I'm not afraid of it anymore," she told me one day with a laugh and a shrug. That one simple statement left me in awe. You see, I think of her as a wildly successful, smart, and talented person. Her ability to fail, learn, and move forward has made me long to do the same. I have always sensed that if I would push past my fear it would be worth it. But I am not fearless. I am afraid. And at times it has stolen my joy. JOY! Now that's a word I'd like to focus on!

And then I had a thought. Joy is often what is waiting on the other side of fear. Sports are a great example of this. My husband is a football coach and I see it all the time. A big game against a formidable team. Wide eyed players in the huddle and my husband pacing the sideline. And then...victory! The joy is evident all around you. Players lifting a teammate to their shoulders, parents in the stands high-fiveing and hugging, and students rushing the field. Fear turned into joy. But you have to be brave enough to step on the field and line up.

I was talking to my friend, Whitney, about this today and she gave me a great example. She went skiing over the holidays, I think maybe for the first time. She described how she kept heading straight down the hill without ever cutting across the slope and by the time she was halfway down, she would pick up so much speed that she spent the entire time being scared to death. Her husband kept encouraging her to cut back and forth across the slope and learn to stop correctly. She had a hard time trusting him with this advice because although she was scared going straight down, she didn't fall. She was more afraid of changing things up and falling than moving at warp speed. Finally, she decided to take his advice and once she began to make her way back and forth across the slope in a controlled manner, she started to enjoy skiing. She had to decide to trust her husband and push past the fear and the result was JOY.

So that's what I want for 2011. I plan to be FEARLESS this year. I'm going to put aside my fear of failure, loss, imaginary dangers, and see what happens. I'll let you know how it turns out and if my theory that joy is waiting on the other side is real. I know it won't be easy and at times I may fail, but I plan to take a note from my friend Eve and learn from it and keep moving forward. Let me know what your "one word" is for 2011!

My One Word 2010

So it's a new year. Hmmm.

If you haven't heard or read about how I like to do new year's resolutions, I'll quickly summarize. If you have, you can skip the rest of this paragraph. In 2008, my sister's pastor, Mike Ashcraft of Port City Community Church in Wilmington, NC, challenged his congregation. Instead of making new year's resolutions that they'd never keep, he encouraged them to focus on one word. It's much easier to make progress if you put all of your focus on one goal.

In 2008, my word was contentment. Last year it was self-discipline. By no means have I gotten where I need to be with both of these goals, but I made progress. Both years, the word I chose was constantly in the back of my mind and I thought about, prayed about, and worked on it a lot. Choosing my word in the past has been an interesting process. This year, I knew what I wanted my word to be long before the breaking dawn of 2010.

My word for 2010 is finish.

I like finishing things. It makes me feel like I accomplished something. It gives me peace. It feels good to look back at the journey from beginning to end. The problem is, I'm much better at starting things than I am finishing them. I have started diets, exercise programs, books, bible studies, daily planners, craft projects, cleaning projects, gardening projects, budgets, businesses and yes...even blogs...only to abandon them for some other new exciting idea.

I often have great vision but I really stink at follow through. So it's time for me to become more focused. It's time to finish. I'm going to choose a couple of specific major things that I want to finish before the end of 2010. And then my goal will be to finish lots of little things as they come up through the year. I guess part of this exercise will be thinking long and hard before I start something because starting something is going to require finishing something from now on.

Some things are never finished. And it's frustrating. Laundry for example. Even if every piece of clothing we owned was clean and put away leaving the hampers completely empty (which has never actually happened), there's always the clothes on our bodies and soon...more laundry. Don't even get me started on cleaning. Cleaning with small children is like shoveling snow during a blizzard.

On a spiritual note, sometimes I get discouraged in my christian walk knowing that I will never be "finished" in this life. God has a plan for my life but alas, I will not be glorified here. As much as I desire to be more like Christ, I will never be completely Christ-like as long as I live. As long as I have this flesh and live in this fallen world, I will not finish the process of sanctification. But it's not about my glory, it's about God's and he promises in his word:

...he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

And while I may not be "finished" until heaven, the work that was done on the cross was complete to cover my sin and get me there.

When he had received the drink, Jesus said, "It is finished." With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. John 19:30

In about 361 days, another year will be finished. And I hope to cross a few things off my list as well. Please feel free to share your "one word" in the comments if you have one. Or better yet, blog about it and leave a link. Happy New Year!

Aha!

Don't you love those "aha!" moments in life when something suddenly makes sense? In my last post (I know, it was like, ages ago) I said I'd share an "aha!" moment I had while practicing self-discipline.

First, an update. When the votes were tallied that Sunday night, the verdict was in and I could not spend any money for the entire week. It was really close (thanks Ashley, for voting for all three...I thought we were friends). Anyway, I was hoping you all would choose #3 - not spending money, because I figured it would be the easiest. (See why I lack self-discipline?) But as it turns out, it was quite difficult at times. On Tuesday morning, I got my weekly email from Southwest Airlines about their deals for the week. Trips to Seattle were featured and what do you know, my husband is going to Seattle on business soon. I thought, "What a great opportunity to get away!" I had already made sure my husband had his own room for the trip and made arrangements with my mother-in-law to keep the girls when it dawned on me...I can't buy a ticket to Seattle, I can't spend money! Of course, my sinful self tried to think of some loopholes around this rule. If I had my husband get online and purchase the ticket then technically I wouldn't be spending money...right?

There were other challenges as well throughout the week. Ashley offered to pay for my parking when we took the girls to the Nashville Public Library. I had to plan meals strategically a couple of times so I wouldn't be tempted to stop and get something on the go. And we ate everything in the refrigerator and pantry which made for a couple of interesting meals. All in all, it made me realize how much I can live without.

This leads me to my "aha!" experience. What these exercises in self-discipline have taught me more than anything is to be mindful. I am reminded of a verse from Beth Moore's study on Daniel. It has always stuck with me. Daniel 10:12 says

Then he continued, "Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since, the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them."

You have to "set your mind" on the right things. That's what these exercises are doing for me. As a mom of such little ones, there have been days where I'm on auto pilot and realize when I lie down at night that I haven't thought about God ONCE. (Except maybe, "Lord, help me!") But busyness is an excuse. Since the Garden of Eden, Satan's greatest trick has been to set our minds on something and someone else. For Eve, it was the forbidden fruit and what was in it for her if she ate it. For us it is a million things. Worry about our kids, the stresses of our jobs, what to make for dinner, our appearance, the big football game, all the mysteries of LOST :), and on and on and on. (Maybe that's just me) We are a culture, much like the Babylonian culture Daniel lived in actually, that fills our minds with so much...junk.

So how do we live a life of self-discipline? How do we live by the power of the Holy Spirit? How do we love God? We've got to "set our minds" first. On the right things. On the right One. Romans 8:5 has been a key verse for me.

Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.

Could it be more clear? Living by the sinful nature? Then I've got my mind set on what that nature desires. Living by the Spirit? Then you've got your mind set on what the Spirit desires. I also love 1 Peter 1:13

Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.

I love that verse because it reminds me that while I must "set my mind" and "be self-controlled" that my hope is not in those things. My hope is not in me. My hope is set "fully on the grace to be given [me]". So while I practice self-discipline, while I set my mind in the right place, my hope is in Christ alone. Remembering that is the only way to keep these exercises from turning into the legalism I loathe. So as I continue to "set my mind to gain understanding and to humble [my]self before God," I am encouraged to know that my "words [will be] heard, and [He will] come in response to them." And may my "Aha" moments always lead me back to His amazing grace.

Cream, Glorious Cream

I made it through the week of black coffee and have really been savoring drinking it the way I like it again. I hate to admit this but it really did require some self-discipline for me to drink it black. A couple of times I really thought, "This is stupid. Who cares about cream and sugar? This is a dumb exercise, I'm going to do something else." But that's what I always do. I'm very persuasive when I want to talk myself out of doing something I don't want to do.

My favorite thing about this exercise was that it started my day. First thing every morning I was reminded that I desire self-discipline. It made me think about how I need to rely on the Lord for everything in my day. I would wake up and before I ever got out of bed I would first think, "coffee" and then my next thought would be, "Lord, I need you." I'd spend a few minutes talking to God about my day and then roll out of bed to get my cup of hot dirt.

But it's not about the coffee. It's about developing self-discipline and I've had an "Aha!" moment that I'll share in my next post. The coffee was the specific challenge but I've been trying to exercise self-discipline in many areas. For now, I figure it's time to up the ante and do another, slightly more challenging, exercise. I've struggled to think of something good. I really want to do something this time that matters. Something that might stick or at least be a baby step in the right direction. Something that will get me what I really want in the long run. So I'm asking you to vote. I'm not sure if there are enough of you reading to make this work but I'm going to throw out three ideas and have you vote. Whichever exercise gets the most votes will be the one I tackle. So here it goes...

1. Leave at least one bite of anything I eat. (I'm a plate cleaner so this could be a real challenge)
2. Get up at 6:00am whether anyone else is up or not...and NO NAPS. (I'm a night owl)
3. Spend NO money for one week. (Not even $1 for coffee at the church's coffee stand)

Okay, so my parents are laughing right now. Which give me another good idea. As a second part to the challenge, I vow not to complain...at all...no matter what...at least not out loud...or at least not about the exercise anyway. Can you see why I need this self-discipline? Anyway, voting will end on Sunday night (in case I need to get up at 6:00am Monday) and then I'll get started. Thanks for your support. I love hearing your words and how you are being challenged. Hang in there!

The First Day...In One Word

Challenging.

Today was my first day of really focusing on my "one word" for 2009...self-discipline. As I mentioned in my last post, I'm convinced that self-discipline is a muscle (a much atrophied muscle in my case) that needs to be built up over time. For my first wimpy workout, I gave myself a little, meaningless, yet attainable task, to begin to build my confidence. I decided to choose an exercise that didn't matter at all, but would be uncomfortable enough that I would actually have to be mindful and make a choice, the choice to follow through. What is my exercise this week?

Drinking my coffee black.

I know that sounds ridiculous. Who cares how you drink your coffee? It's not like it's a bad thing to use a little splenda. It's not like I can't count a few creamer calories into my diet. It's just that I don't really like it that way all that much but I can do it. My desire for caffeine is motivation enough. Or so I thought. I could drink no coffee. I could have a coke instead. But that's not the point. The point is to do something I prefer not to...just to prove I can.

Well, I did it. I drank two cups of coffee (again, my desire for caffeine is great) and no sweetener or creamer. It wasn't entirely terrible after a while although I know now why my husband hates coffee and refers to it as "hot dirt". It is better hot though. The temperature is much more important with black coffee. I'm a girl who likes splenda and flavored creamer and a starbucks peppermint mocha is my favorite...but I did it. And I will do it until Friday. After that, I will resume drinking coffee the way I like it. (It's not about the coffee in case I haven't made that clear) Starting next Friday, I will attempt something slightly more difficult. I have some ideas. I'm not looking forward to any of them. But as I begin to build confidence, as I begin to strengthen this muscle, I know it will feel waaaaay better than my life right now. I'm not doing this to torture myself, after all. I'm doing it because I know that in the end it will put me in the center of God's will for my life, it will bring me more peace, more joy, more faith, more hope...I will be stronger, smarter, more healthy, a better wife and mother, a better friend and family member, and more like Jesus.

That's what I'll think about while I'm drinking hot dirt in the morning. Gotta love it.

My One Word 2009

In my last post, I wrote about the concept of ditching new year's resolutions and instead, choosing one word. So I've thought long and hard about my word this year. It was actually pretty easy to choose. What I need to work on is clear. My word for 2009 is self-discipline. Do hyphenated words count as one word? Anyway, every frustration I have with my life all boils down to one thing...a lack of self-discipline. My budget, my weight, my spiritual growth, my unfinished projects, my yet unreached goals...you name it.

I'm pretty sure I know how I got this way. I have such an aversion to legalism that I have swung the pendulum too far in the other direction. More on that later though.

When I looked up the word self-discipline at dictionary.com, here are some of the definitions I found:

-discipline and training of oneself, usually for improvement
-Training and control of oneself and one's conduct, usually for personal improvement.
-the trait of practicing self discipline
-the act of denying yourself; controlling your impulses

Compare that to the definition for self-control:

-Control of one's emotions, desires, or actions by one's own will
-the trait of resolutely controlling your own behavior

Seems to me, self-control is something people have...self-discipline is the training you need in order to develop self-control. And training means exercise. Speaking of exercise, many things I've read on self-discipline compare it to a muscle that needs to be built up little by little. I need to lift some small but challenging weights to build a little muscle in order to handle some heavier things over time. In other words, it wouldn't help me to set a goal of "run a marathon". It's impossible, I haven't trained to run a marathon. I already believe I can't do it. It makes more sense to set a goal like "run for 20 minutes 3 times a week". Start small...be specific...set attainable goals and meet them. I need to prove to myself that I can follow through on the little things and build on that.

Now, I have no desire whatsoever to run a marathon...EVER...but there are many things I would like to do...achievable things...things I don't have now because of my lack of self-discipline. I'm ready to start training. So many things have been written about self-discipline, I feel like I have some good ideas about how to get started. I'll keep you updated as I begin my training.

Meanwhile, my first exercise, and the real foundation of everything, will be to be mindful each morning of the power of the Holy Spirit at work in me. 2 Timothy 1:7 says, "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline." He has given me all I need. Now I must submit to his will. Romans 12:2 says, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing, and perfect will." I will definitely do some tangible, hopefully life-changing things along the way. But I won't do it alone.

I've come up with a pretty good first challenge starting Monday. Tune in to see how it goes and feel free to share your "one word" if you like. Happy New Year!

My Resolution...In One Word

We've all done it. Made lists of our New Year's resolutions. And year after year, we not only fail to achieve those goals, we forget what they were in the first place. Two years ago, my sister introduced me to a life changing concept. Her pastor, Mike Ashcraft of Port City Community Church, did a series called One Word. Because a long list of resolutions is so daunting and we don't really believe that we're going to be successful...it's pointless. So maybe we don't even try any more. But what if we took a different approach? We can't do everything...but maybe we can do one thing. One word.

Mike challenged the congregation to choose one word to focus on for the coming year. Just one word. Surely we can remember one word. And focus on making that word a part of you. Build on it all year so that by year's end it is ingrained in your character. That first year, Mike's word was finish. He had lots of half-read books on his desk, lots of unfinished projects at home...lots of beginnings with no ends, so he wanted to focus on finishing. He even suggested creating opportunities to practice your word. For example, if your word is patience, then purposely get in the longest line at the store. Focus on your word.

After a couple of weeks that first year, Mike told a story of a woman who came to him and said that her husband wouldn't reveal his word. "Pastor," she said, "tell him he should tell me his word." Mike wisely replied, "Let me think about that." His conclusion was this...wouldn't it be incredible if by the end of the year, your word became such a part of you that your spouse knew what it was without you having to say it?

So this is my challenge to you. Choose one word to focus on for the year. Be creative. Pray over it. Ask God to reveal that thing he especially wants to develop in you this year. And then look for opportunities. Be mindful. I've done this for two years now and it's really been incredible. If you did this last year, reflect on how you've done. Has the Lord done a work in you? Have you been changed?

In my next post, I'm going to share my word for 2009. If you decide to join the challenge, please share your word in the comments. Maybe it will help spur some ideas in others. And get ready for an incredible year of change. Remember, you can't do it all...but you can do one thing.