Today was my first day of really focusing on my "one word" for 2009...self-discipline. As I mentioned in my last post, I'm convinced that self-discipline is a muscle (a much atrophied muscle in my case) that needs to be built up over time. For my first wimpy workout, I gave myself a little, meaningless, yet attainable task, to begin to build my confidence. I decided to choose an exercise that didn't matter at all, but would be uncomfortable enough that I would actually have to be mindful and make a choice, the choice to follow through. What is my exercise this week?
Drinking my coffee black.
I know that sounds ridiculous. Who cares how you drink your coffee? It's not like it's a bad thing to use a little splenda. It's not like I can't count a few creamer calories into my diet. It's just that I don't really like it that way all that much but I can do it. My desire for caffeine is motivation enough. Or so I thought. I could drink no coffee. I could have a coke instead. But that's not the point. The point is to do something I prefer not to...just to prove I can.
Well, I did it. I drank two cups of coffee (again, my desire for caffeine is great) and no sweetener or creamer. It wasn't entirely terrible after a while although I know now why my husband hates coffee and refers to it as "hot dirt". It is better hot though. The temperature is much more important with black coffee. I'm a girl who likes splenda and flavored creamer and a starbucks peppermint mocha is my favorite...but I did it. And I will do it until Friday. After that, I will resume drinking coffee the way I like it. (It's not about the coffee in case I haven't made that clear) Starting next Friday, I will attempt something slightly more difficult. I have some ideas. I'm not looking forward to any of them. But as I begin to build confidence, as I begin to strengthen this muscle, I know it will feel waaaaay better than my life right now. I'm not doing this to torture myself, after all. I'm doing it because I know that in the end it will put me in the center of God's will for my life, it will bring me more peace, more joy, more faith, more hope...I will be stronger, smarter, more healthy, a better wife and mother, a better friend and family member, and more like Jesus.
That's what I'll think about while I'm drinking hot dirt in the morning. Gotta love it.