What I Want to Be When I Grow Up

When I think about going back to work someday, it makes my head spin. There are so many things I wish I could do. Oh, if only I could do college over again. How is anyone supposed to know what they want to be when they're only 17? I was an elementary school teacher before I stayed home with the girls. I loved my job but when I think about going back and I think about all those kids...it doesn't have the same appeal.

I do have a secret desire to work at Walmart. Yep, Walmart. I don't understand why some people get so negative about the super store thing. I think it's SUPER! I love the idea of wearing jeans and a t-shirt to work. There's something so tempting about swiping each item across the scanner and hearing that beep that let's you know it registered. (C'mon, you know yo were just as excited as me to try out a self checkout lane for the first time) I am in awe of the cashiers who seem to know exactly where the bar code is on each item and who know the PLU's for all the produce. I love the challenge of bagging the items in the right combinations. I always try to line things up on the conveyor belt in the right groupings. I mean, how frustrating to be scanning cans and suddenly have socks come across the way? And I especially love the idea that I'd never have to stop anywhere on my way home from work to pick something up because...that's right...I'm already there.

My favorite thing about Walmart? It's the great equalizer. All kinds go there. Just the other day I stood in line behind a big guy, dressed in all black, long black hair with the sides shaved, blue contact lenses, chains and piercings everywhere. Turns out he has a four year old daughter who acts just like mine. Nice guy. It's a true melting pot, young, old, rich, poor, and every color, shape and background.

When I was in college I went on a mission trip with Campus Crusade to Santa Cruz, CA. We could choose from several different jobs and I was tempted to work the fryers in the fast food restaurants, seriously. But I was able to fulfill another lifelong dream...ride operator at the boardwalk. I got to take the tickets, check the safety bars and make sure they locked into place, turn the key, and push the button. And occasionally, just for fun, I'd give a free extra ride on a slow day. One ride I really enjoyed was the haunted house. I typically hate haunted houses but this one wasn't very scary and the most fun part was the job of walking the catwalk. It was a ride-through haunted house and from the catwalk you could look down on the whole maze of the house. Basically, you watched for people getting out of their cars, spitting, or vandalizing. It was so satisfying to shine a flashlight on the offender and holler down for them to stop what they were doing. It always scared them to death and they couldn't ever see where you were. It was so loud in there I could sing at the top of my lungs and no one could hear me. I would do calf raises, lunges, and other standing exercises on occasion.

I don't know what it is about these jobs. I wouldn't want to do them forever, just until it wasn't fun anymore. Maybe it's a curiosity about how things work behind the scenes. I'd also like to work at a movie theater, Disney World, the Opryland Hotel, a spa, a tanning salon. Can't you see the benfits? Maybe it's about what I can get on an employee discount. Don't think I'm not tempted by the new Barnes & Noble. So please share, what job do you secretly desire to do?