Lessons on Marriage...Sort of

Little Sister: Mama, after you are dead, I going to marry Daddy!

Me: Really.

Little Sister: Yeah...after you are dead.

Me: Well, I'm not planning to die anytime soon. And besides, you can't marry someone in your family.

Little Sister: Right. So I can't marry you or Annie or Daddy.

Me: (Not wanting to address the gender issues) Right.

Big Sister: (finally weighing in) You can only marry someone who is in someone else's family. And besides, Daddy is already married to Mama. You can't marry someone who is already married. Right mom?

Me: Right. You can only marry someone who is single. Someone who is not married is called "single".


Pause for about one minute.



Little Sister: I think Santa Claus is single.

Ebenezers

I'm getting ready to go through another "blog spurt". I suddenly have inspiration everywhere I turn. We have gone through lots of changes in the past year and I want to add them to my "Ebenezers" so I don't forget God's incredible faithfulness. Don't know what I'm talking about? Let me explain.


A few yeas ago I went to a women's retreat where the speakers were the Women's Ministry Director from out church, Lisa Harper, and an amazing woman named Eva Whittington Self. It was a great weekend but what I remember most is a talk Lisa gave on 1 Samuel 7. Basically, the story goes like this:


Under Samuel's direction, the Israelites had assembled at Mizpah against the Philistines. Though God's people had repented, fasted, and poured out their offerings and their hearts to the LORD, they were still afraid when the Philistines came out to attack them. They begged Samuel to keep crying out to the LORD on their behalf and he did. That day, when the Philistines came near, scripture says that "the LORD thundered with loud thunder against the Philistines and threw them into such a panic that they were routed before the Israelites". There's lots of rich stuff there but the part I remember most is what Samuel did next.

Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen.
He named it Ebenezer, saying, "Thus far has the LORD helped us."

The word "Ebenezer" actually means stone of help. Lisa had big bags of flat river stones that she poured out on the table. She invited each of us to come forward and pick up a stone and a sharpie and to write something on the stone that would remind us of a time when the LORD had helped us. I participated in the exercise and I can still remember what I wrote on that stone. In fact, I still have it. I kept it in a drawer for a while and it amazed me that every time I looked at it, I remembered what God had done. (Guess that's why they built altars back then, huh?)

Why is it so hard to remember anyway? I can't even remember what I had for lunch yesterday. You'd think it would be easy to remember the Lord's goodness but can you recount three times recently that the Lord helped you? And I mean in a way that goes beyond I got the kids to bed early, or I made it home from work safely. I'm not saying those aren't important, but what are the times that should be memorialized? The biggies that will help you get through hard times in the future?

All throughout scripture God admonishes Israel to "remember" and I wanted to make sure that I remember too. So I had an idea. I went to Hobby Lobby and bought a big decorative bowl, a couple of bags of large flat river rocks, and a black paint pen. I put them in the bowl and then put my one old rock on the top of the pile. I placed this "Ebenezer" bowl on the table in our entry where everyone could see it and I asked God to remind me of the other "Ebenezers" in my life. Over the next couple of days, I would remember, pick up a rock, and write something down. When the girls had prayer requests they saw answered, I let them get a stone and write it down. Through the years, we have filled our bowl with "Ebenezers".

My favorite thing about this bowl is when someone sees it on the table and asks what it is. It has been such a great tool for giving testimony to others about our awesome God. I also treasure the times when the girls want to bring it to the dinner table and go through them. They love hearing the stories behind each rock. When we get discouraged, we go to the bowl and talk about the times God has been so faithful when when didn't understand the trials we were going through. I strengthens our faith to remember how faithful God has been. (I guess that's why he keeps telling us to remember!)

So back to the beginning. We've had lots of Ebenezer's this past year and still see more to come. It's been a difficult, stressful, challenging, wonderful, encouraging, blessed, amazing twelve months. I look forward to sorting through my stones with you. And I invite you to start your own Ebenezer bowl so you can say with confidence and hope, "Thus far the LORD has helped us!"

LOST - My alternate ending

This would have made sense:
The island is the singular source of life on earth and it's location must be closely guarded and protected in order to preserve life on earth. Scientists (like the Others and the Dharma initiative) have been able to locate this source and have done numerous studies, yet the heart of the island is known only to the guardian (Jacob). Evil is also present on the island and is bound to some degree. And there are rules the evil one must follow.

The evil one is growing stronger and the island is in danger so the time is drawing near for a new protector to take over. This is a very important job and one must show oneself worthy of this high calling. Jacob chooses some candidates (the survivors whose names are written in the caves) and he brings them to the island to test them. Like his mother before him, he is unclear on who will rise to the occasion. He chooses people who are flawed and gives them the opportunity for redemption through these tests and trials.

Five seasons of crazy stuff happens that puts the candidates to the test ending in an explosion that only partially sets things straight.

In season 6, we discover the effects of blowing up the swan station. The candidates experience life without a plane crash, only instead of the doomed lives they once had, they have life as it should be. However, these people are not yet completely redeemed. They are also still present on the island, a candidate has not been chosen, and evil is still present and powerful and able to destroy them.

Just when it seems evil will prevail and the earth will be destroyed, a leader finally emerges (Jack), a man who has come full circle and he saves the day. With the help of Desmond, who is able to go down into the well and remove the stone, Jack is able to stop evil for once and for all. It was a two person job (one to remove the stone and one to kill the smoke monster) but there is one job left to do. Jack must turn the light of good back on at the heart of the island and Desmond must reunite the others in the alternate timeline in order to save the world. Jack sacrifices himself and replaces the stone saving the world, securing the island and completely redeeming their lives by ridding them of the threat and danger of the evil one. Desmond succeeds in reuniting them at the church.

There is a final blast of light, the island "disappears" keeping it forever safe, and they are all in the alternate timeline where they are coupled with the one we want them to be with, they are able to parent their children, they are law abiding contributors to society, and they are healed of their diseases. They all meet at the church to destroy the lamppost (or whatever that place was called in the church that helped scientists find the island). They destroy the lamp post so that no one can ever find it and threaten it again.

The End

Okay, maybe my ending isn't perfect but at least it makes some sense and explains some things. I was loving the finale. I got chill bumps every time someone remembered their experience on the island. I got tears in my eyes when the couples found each other and when their bodies were healed. I was totally loving it and though I didn't understand everything that was going on, I felt like I was tracking along with it. And then the last ten minutes I was like, "Huh?" They're all dead? When did they die? Where were they? What is the island? How did scientists find it and what did the Dharma initiative have to do with anything? What was real and what wasn't?

I get that a little bit of mystery is a good thing. I didn't have to have ALL my questions answered, but it had to at least make sense. I didn't need to know what made Desmond special, I didn't have to know what "the box" was or even how/why they tested Sayid in the temple to know if he was good or bad. I love the idea of the ending being satisfying while at the same time giving us things to discuss and speculate on for the years to come. But the ending they gave us made me feel like four of the six last years were completely pointless. You know, all that time spent on The Others, the Dharma films and stations, the experiments, the NUMBERS! I'm going to stop before I blow my top.

Feel free to comment on my idea of a satisfying ending if you wish, or post ideas of you own. And while I still love the show and will certainly buy the DVD's hoping for more answers, I think from now on I'll wait until a new show runs it's course. And if everyone concurs that it was worth their years of loyalty, I'll get the DVD's for all the seasons in the series and take a week's vacation. At least that way I won't have to wait so long for a new season that I can't remember how the last one ended. Love and miss ya LOST...

Our Little Rock Star

Little Sister did this randomly yesterday so I had to get her to do a repeat performance for video. Enjoy!

Summing Up the Holidays

I know this is late in coming but we had some notable moments this Christmas. A few years ago we made the decision that we'd "just say no" to 90% of what we were invited to do in December. It's so easy to get to the end and realize you didn't do any of that special family stuff you intended to do. We may have squeezed in one thing to many, but it was fun.

Little Sister's birthday was in December. She was due on Christmas day but we intervened and brought her into the world a little bit earlier. It's still so hard to keep her birthday and Christmas really separate and special.

A few days before our family party, Big Sister decided to make special party hats. Somehow I managed to avoid having to wear one but the stuffed animals were not so lucky.




We got invited to go to Opry Mills to see Charlie Brown ICE! They give you huge blue coats to wear and you walk around freezing looking at all the ice sculptures. There's an ice slide to go down and the nativity in ice was beautiful. It was neat but had it not been free, I would have never paid the $28 or so per person to see it. We were done in about half an hour.

Speaking of money, shopping was interesting this year. For the first time ever, we were done on Black Friday. The most difficult part was that we officially became those parents who go bonkers looking for this year's hard to find toy, Zhu Zhu pets. Big Sister had some advice about shopping.

Big Sis: Mom! You need to go to Walmart and ask them for Christmas!
Me: What?
Big Sis: The commercial says Christmas costs less at Walmart!

Her solid belief in commercials is why we ended up searching for Zhu Zhu pets in the first place. I had to draw the line at the "As seen on TV" brownie pan with built in dividers (I don't like the edges, I like the middles anyway) and the buxton bag (The BIGGEST little bag ever!). She is convinced I must have these items because the commercials say I can't live without them.

We saw Santa a couple of times. We saw him at the mall as usual but we also saw him at one of our family traditions. Every year we drive out to Lebanon to a house that has a HUGE drive through light display. Towards the end, you drive through a barn that looks like Santa's living room and he gives out candy canes. As we waved goodbye and started to drive off, Little Sister yelled, "But you forgot to give us presents!" To which he replied, "Three more days!"



One of the most hilarious moments happened at a "dirty Santa" party. Some people brought gag gifts and some people brought real gifts. As a former Jersey girl married to a football coach it was ironic that we ended up with these gifts.



On Christmas Eve, we got everyone prettied up to go to church. Before we left, we were able to watch my sister on live feed from her church in North Carolina reading the Christmas story.



The church service was really sweet. The pastor does a children's time at the end of the service where all the children come sit with him up at the front and talk. For much of the service I worried about Little Sister going up there. She's the child most likely to say something embarrassing or raise her dress up around her shoulders. In an act of divine intervention, she fell asleep moments before he called the children forward.
Yes, my husband took a picture in church.

Anyway, when we got home they were ready for bed but not before setting out cookies and milk for Santa along with a note that said, "Dear Santa, I have a question for you and that would be what is Mrs. Claus' first name?" To which Santa replied, "Jessica." If you've ever watched Santa Claus is Comin' to Town you'll understand. Soon enough, there were "visions of sugar plums dancing in heads". :)



So Santa came through and a merry time was had by all. That's it! Hope you had a Merry Christmas and here's to a Happy New Year!

My One Word 2010

So it's a new year. Hmmm.

If you haven't heard or read about how I like to do new year's resolutions, I'll quickly summarize. If you have, you can skip the rest of this paragraph. In 2008, my sister's pastor, Mike Ashcraft of Port City Community Church in Wilmington, NC, challenged his congregation. Instead of making new year's resolutions that they'd never keep, he encouraged them to focus on one word. It's much easier to make progress if you put all of your focus on one goal.

In 2008, my word was contentment. Last year it was self-discipline. By no means have I gotten where I need to be with both of these goals, but I made progress. Both years, the word I chose was constantly in the back of my mind and I thought about, prayed about, and worked on it a lot. Choosing my word in the past has been an interesting process. This year, I knew what I wanted my word to be long before the breaking dawn of 2010.

My word for 2010 is finish.

I like finishing things. It makes me feel like I accomplished something. It gives me peace. It feels good to look back at the journey from beginning to end. The problem is, I'm much better at starting things than I am finishing them. I have started diets, exercise programs, books, bible studies, daily planners, craft projects, cleaning projects, gardening projects, budgets, businesses and yes...even blogs...only to abandon them for some other new exciting idea.

I often have great vision but I really stink at follow through. So it's time for me to become more focused. It's time to finish. I'm going to choose a couple of specific major things that I want to finish before the end of 2010. And then my goal will be to finish lots of little things as they come up through the year. I guess part of this exercise will be thinking long and hard before I start something because starting something is going to require finishing something from now on.

Some things are never finished. And it's frustrating. Laundry for example. Even if every piece of clothing we owned was clean and put away leaving the hampers completely empty (which has never actually happened), there's always the clothes on our bodies and soon...more laundry. Don't even get me started on cleaning. Cleaning with small children is like shoveling snow during a blizzard.

On a spiritual note, sometimes I get discouraged in my christian walk knowing that I will never be "finished" in this life. God has a plan for my life but alas, I will not be glorified here. As much as I desire to be more like Christ, I will never be completely Christ-like as long as I live. As long as I have this flesh and live in this fallen world, I will not finish the process of sanctification. But it's not about my glory, it's about God's and he promises in his word:

...he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

And while I may not be "finished" until heaven, the work that was done on the cross was complete to cover my sin and get me there.

When he had received the drink, Jesus said, "It is finished." With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. John 19:30

In about 361 days, another year will be finished. And I hope to cross a few things off my list as well. Please feel free to share your "one word" in the comments if you have one. Or better yet, blog about it and leave a link. Happy New Year!

Turning 39 For The First Time

A couple of weeks ago I turned 39...for the first time. I don't know what it is. I LOVED turning 30. I looked forward to it. I wrote about what a great day it was here. For some reason, now that my 30's are drawing to an end, I'm not getting quite the same excitement about turning 40 next year. I'm kinda thinking there's a lot to accomplish before then.

I went for a full physical last year and I'll never forget my conversation with the doctor.

Doctor: Well, your BMI is a little higher than it should be...
Me: Mmmm hmmm.
Doctor: But as you approach middle age that's a little more normal.
Me: I'm sorry...did you just call me middle aged?

Now, I have had a GREAT life so far. We have been so blessed. But now I'm looking forward and wondering what's ahead. I think that's a fairly normal part of being a stay-at-home mom whose kids will both be in school soon. What will I do then? I didn't consciously think about certain things I wanted to achieve before I turn 39 for the second time (some people call it 40 but whatever). But I do have a "bucket list". You know, things I'd like to do...well...one day. I thought I'd share it with you. It's not necessarily in order of importance and I'll go ahead and tell you it's not especially deep. Most of it's not serious, spiritual, character changing type stuff. Some of it is just stuff I'd like to do...just because.

See the Holy Land
Stay in an Irish cottage and visit lots of pubs
Eat something with black truffles
Memorize one book of the Bible
Gaze at the ceiling of the Sistine chapel
Give to someone in a way that changes their life
See the Great Wall of China in person
Drive Route 66
Fly on a trapeze
Learn Italian
Audition for something
Learn to salsa
Write a book
Sing karaoke solo
Be completely debt free including the house

Now, I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be debt free including the house in the next year. I'm not even sure I'm going to be debt free except for the house next year. But I'd like to cross something off my list before I turn 39...again. Do you have an opinion? Suggestion? Favorite? Addition? Let me know. It's time for me to get going on this list.

I'd also like to leave you, young and middle-aged alike, with a few things I did in my 30's that I'd recommend for your bucket list if you have one.

Have a couple of babies.
Take a trip to the Grand Canyon on a train with a sleeper car.
Make a job change.
Move to a new city.
Go to St. Lucia and have Delbert plan a day excursion for you.
Throw a surprise party for someone you love.
Go to New York City at Christmastime.
Go to a high school reunion.