The Amazon

My dad left for the Amazon today. He was invited by a friend to go to the Amazon to fish for peacock bass. I guess they are really special fish. My dad is soooo not an outdoorsy person. He likes sports and being outside but he's not into "roughing it". They are staying at a lodge but it's still the amazon. It will take them like a day and a half just to get where they are going. At first he tried to decline stating that he was not really a fisherman and had only been flyfishing once in his life. His friend assured him that it didn't matter and that he needed to go because it would be such an amazing experience where he would see all kinds of things he could never see anywhere else. So he cautiously agreed. Soon after, he got the paperwork (ie. release of liability forms) and he started having second thoughts.

The first thing that raised his eyebrows was the statement, "The client understands that fishing is a dangerous sport." Fishing a dangerous sport? Bungy jumping, dangerous, skydiving, dangerous...but fishing? The second thing was the statement, "The client understands that his/her stay at the Royal Amazon Lodge could result in serious injury or death." His STAY at the lodge could cause serious injury or death? I mean, I realize there are all kinds of dangerous animals and such out there in the Amazon but his actual stay at the lodge is dangerous? What could this possibly mean? Finally the real kicker, "The client must always be mindful that everything in the amazon is either eating or being eaten." WHAT!!!???!!! I'm saying a little prayer that my dad will stay on the eating side of the equation rather than being eaten.

Finally, I can say with great relief that he will decline the nighttime crocodile lassoing where a guy recently lost one of his arms. I'm totally serious.

The Moment of Truth - Part 2

I've been thinking some more about lying. I remember years ago getting into a discussion with some coworkers about how many lies would make a person a liar? Was it 10? 100? Or was it maybe just 1? I later asked my dad what he thought the answer was. He quickly said, "None." Huh? I was confused. If you never told a lie, how could you be a liar? He explained...we are liars in our hearts. We lie to ourselves every day. Again, he hit home the point that sin is a heart issue. Jeremiah 17:9 says The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? In Philippians 3 Paul claims that with regard to legalistic righteousness, he was flawless. Outwardly, he appeared to be living right but he knew it was what was in his heart that matters. What are the lies you tell yourself? May I make some suggestions from my own heart?

I'm fine.

I would never do THAT.

I deserve more.

I know it's wrong but it's not that big a deal, everybody's doing it.

It's not my fault.

I can't help it.

I'll start exercising tomorrow. :)

Can you identify? Honestly? When looking at our own depravity we need to acknowledge the truth. Only then can we really understand grace. My dad always says, "Cheer up, it's worse than you think." On the flip side, God's grace is even greater than we know. He is the God of truth. Jesus says, "I tell you the truth..." at least 78 times in the gospels. Ephesians 6 reminds us to put on the belt of truth every day. So what is the truth?


I'm a mess.


I would do THAT.


I deserve hell.


It's wrong, it's a big deal, and not everybody is doing it.


I knew exactly what I was doing and I did it anyway.


If I exercise tomorrow, it will be a miracle.


And the greatest truth for those whose only hope is in Christ? John 19:30 It is finished.

The Moment of Truth

I had never seen it before. It just looks...hard to watch. I can't fathom why someone would go on that show and answer the most personal, embarrasing questions for money. My dad was telling me about a particular episode so I had to go to http://www.fox.com/ and see it for myself. You know it's not going to be good when the host is shown alone in the studio making a disclaimer at the beginning. He said that if it had been up to him, he would not have aired the show and that it was the most uncomfortable he's ever been on television. He warned the viewers that it was "difficult to watch". So of course, anyone who heard that...watched.

You may have seen the preview. It made the claim that a woman would put her marriage on the line and the questions seemed very personal. Apparantly, the game keeps going as long as you agree to hear the next question. Once you agree, you have to answer and if you lie, you lose ALL the money. It's not like Millionaire where you go back to $25,000 or whatever. You can say, "no more questions" and take the money you have, or you can accept the question and you have to answer it.

So, here's the rundown. I can only guess that this woman was planning to leave her husband and figured she could make some money in the process. She answered the following questions:


Question: Do you believe you may have been in love with an exboyfriend on your wedding day?
Answer: Yes - true


Question: (Asked by exboyfriend) Do you think you should be married to me?
Answer: Yes - true


Question: Have you had sexual relations with someone other than your husband since you have been married?
Answer: Yes - true


Each time was really drawn out and it was obviously very uncomfortable for her husband and family. Her parents and a sister were there too. The husband gets angrier and the answers really seem to take him by suprise. The more it goes on, the more clear it becomes that her marriage is over. The host encourages her time and again to stop and take the $100,000 she already has. He keeps asking if it's really worth it. At one point the husband ends up telling her that she might as well go for it because he doesn't think it can get much worse. The host assures him that it will. Each time she says she wants to go on. Anyway, here's the fascinating part. The next question.


Question: Do you think you are a good person?


Interesting isn't it? I mean, we've got questions of infidelity, exboyfriends, etc. and then for the big money they ask, "Do you think you are a good person?" All she has to do is tell the truth and her money amount jumps way up. What happens next is unbelievable.


Answer: Honestly, yes, I think I am a good person.


And what do the lie detectors say? FALSE She's shocked. The host says something like, "What this shows is that somewhere deep down you don't think you're a good person at all." Isn't that sort of profound?

A machine was able to pick up on what we all know deep down...we deserve hell. We may not be cheating or dreaming of an ex. We may not steal or kill. But we may have suppressed the truth of our own hearts. If we really look, if we really understand how HOLY God's holiness is and how SINFUL our sinfulness is, we always answer that question with a no. Paul says in Romans 7:18 I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, my sinful nature. And in 7:24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? What do we do? The good news is found in v. 25 Thanks be to God-through Jesus Christ our Lord! It just makes it all the more amazing that we have such an awesome God that he would condescend to save a bunch of liars like us. And that's the truth.

The Ultimate Accountability

A while back, maybe a year or so ago I saw an episode of PRIMETIME on ABC. They were doing some experiments regarding something called "game theory". I don't really understand game theory but what they did was fascinating. First they dropped off several pairs of strangers all over New York City. They gave them only one instruction. Find another pair. Sounds crazy right? None of the people knew each other, none of them knew their partners but they had the challenge of finding another pair somewhere in the city. Guess how many of the pairs found another pair...are you ready for this?...ALL OF THEM. Can you believe that? They all found other pairs. Basically, they all had similar strategies:

What is a major meeting place in NYC ?(1/2 picked the Empire State Building, 1/2 picked Times Square)

What is a good meeting time? (several decided on noon)

How do we stand out and help someone find us? (Many went and bought supplies and made signs)

Anyway, I thought this was crazy. They all ended up going to either the Empire State Building or Times Square with signs and whistles and things and waited for another pair to show. By noon, all pairs had completed the task and they had started from all over the place. The whole thing was done so that people could study game theory and strategies by observing what the participants did. What does this have to do with accountability?

The second part of the show was about weight loss. They took about 20 people who wanted to lose at least 25 pounds. They took pictures of them (blurred of course) in spandex. They gave them no diet or exercise plan. They simply told them, lose 25 pounds in 60 days or we will show your spandex photo on national television. These people knew what they were getting into and they all signed up. Guess how many lost the weight? ALL BUT ONE! Crazy! The one who didn't had gotten really sick at some point. But really, this is the most effective diet plan ever. It had a 96% success rate. Do you know any other diet plan with that kind of success rate? The idea with game theory here was that people will react to a "credible threat". The key to success is that they have to believe that the consequences WILL happen. We see this with our children. We will get obedience if our threats are credible. If my child believes that I will really take away her favorite toy if she throws it again, she will stop. Of course, children always test your credibility from time to time. Once they find out the threat is credible, it becomes effective. Consequently reward works almost the same way. Boy, could I go down a rabbit trail about discipline here but anyway...back to weight loss.

Last year I thought about this alot and asked Jeff, "How can we create a credible threat so that I will actually exercise and lose weight?" He came up with an idea. If I didn't lose 15 pounds (because I wanted to ladies, not at his request) by spring break, he would tell all my friends that I...ha, ha, like I'm going to tell you, just imagine something really stupid I did. It was something he thought was funny and I thought was embarrasing and I knew he would follow through. So we agreed. I weighed and the challenge of avoiding embarrassment began. I DID IT. I lost the weight! Next on the agenda was keeping it off. We renegotiated. Okay, I had to keep it off until our trip to Destin in June or same thing, he would tell my friends that I...still not going to tell you. I DID IT AGAIN. I kept the weight off! But...

...then summer went on, we were out of town a lot and the threat was gone. We took several vacations and all involved great dining. There's a joke in our family that if someone is eating a lot you ask, "What, are you on vacation?" Needless to say, the weight (+5) is all back. (See post on Gluttony) What to do?

I'm thinking of photographing myself in spandex (I'm trying not to gag) and entrusting it to a friend who will post it if I don't take it off and keep it off. It was the ULTIMATE ACCOUNTABILITY before. It worked. What do you think? Anyone want to trade spandex shots?

Coke Zero

Okay, I totally didn't get the commercials when they first came out. They are the ones where they meet with a lawyer about suing themselves because Coke Zero tastes just like Coca Cola Classic. Now I get it. Have you tried it? Am I just the last one to know? I figured it was just another marketing thing like Diet Coke with Splenda. Another diet coke that just tasted the same. But NOOOOOO friends. This is different. If you love regular coke but only drink diet because of the calories, this is the soft drink for you. I swear, I feel guilty every time I drink one. It's that good. No, I am not being paid to say this. I just want to share the love. From now on, it's Coke Zero for me. Now if only the restaurants would get on board. So far the only place I've seen it is Chuck-E-Cheese and...well...need I say more?

P.S. To all you addiction-free-superhealthy-water-only drinkers...I love you and I'm sorry.

Don't Forget the Lyrics

Okay, this is dumb but I just find it so funny. Yesterday, Annie wanted to drink some juice out of a "big girl" cup. No top, no straw, just wide open, ready to spill at any second kind of cup. So she's giving me all kinds of instructions about it and she decides she wants ice too. She says, "I want two icebergs...no more, no mess." I couldn't help but laugh. Icebergs? How does she know the word icebergs? Where did she hear "no more, no less?" It's not hard to figure out how she turned "no less" into "no mess" since I was so concerned about spillage. Anyway, it got me thinking about all those times I was sure I was singing (loudly) the right lyrics to a song only to find out years later, much to my humiliation, that I was completely wrong. I would be horrible at that TV show Don't Forget the Lyrics. I'd think I remembered them and still sing the wrong words. Loudly.

Roam - B52's
Actual: Roam if you want to, roam around the world.
Me: Roll misty waters, all around the world.

I know, I know. My sister had an even better one.

George Michael - Faith
Actual: Well I guess it would be nice, if I could touch your body.
Holly: Well I wish I had a knife, so I could cut your body.

She really wasn't that weird, I swear. So, share your funny mixed up lyrics. Don't forget to include the actual words because chances are, I don't know them.

P.S. There's probably some spiritual application here but I haven't had enough coffee.

Being Mary in a Martha World

I was recently listening to one of my dad's sermons on my iPod. I wish it were still online and I would link you to it but it was on Luke 10:38-42.

38As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a
woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. 40But Martha was distracted by
all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord,
don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to
help me!" 41"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and
upset about many things, 42but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

So who can relate to Martha? We understand her irritation. Let's face it. We live in a Martha world. Whoever is the busiest is the best. What do you think of when you think of the SUPERMOM? Honestly. I'll tell you what I think of. She has a spotless house, always serves home cooked meals, all the clothes are washed and ironed, lunches are prepared the night before, she exercises every day, pays the bills the instant they arrive, changes the oil after every 3000 miles, volunteers at church, school, and at least one charity, and all with a smile on her face.

She makes me tired.

She makes me feel inadequate.

But is this who my role model should be?

Martha was busy making preparations and fussed to Jesus that Mary wasn't helping her. Ever done that? Ever fussed to Jesus that you couldn't get any help? :) And how does Jesus reply? "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things..." She's not just working hard, she's "worried and upset about many things". Interesting. Is SUPERMOM worried and upset and I just didn't know it? She makes it look easy after all.

But here's the real point. It's not that Martha did all the work and Mary did none. It's that Mary knew when to stop and sit at the feet of the Savior. The truth is, preparations had probably been going on all day. Mary had been working hard as well, but when Jesus showed up, she stopped, she sat at his feet, she listened to his teaching. Read verses 41 and 42 again.

41"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many
things, 42but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it
will not be taken away from her."

We have a choice. Are you a SUPERMOM? Are you missing the one thing that is needed? There is work to do, there are preparations to be made, yes. But at some point do we choose what is better? Sit now and then dear sister at his feet and listen.

*The character SUPERMOM in this blog is fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead is entirely coincidental. :)